Like the woman at the well,
I was seeking for things that could not satisfy.
And then I heard my Savior speaking –
“Draw from MY WELL that never shall run dry”
There is something, I would say, we all do as human beings; however, I think women do it more often, as we tend to be more emotional, more instinctual and we internalize things much more. The fact that we possess these traits is why we appear to be more in tune with God than men. But like I said, I believe it is also why we tend to do this more often than men do. What I am alluding to is that we are always looking for someone or something to make our lives better.
We believe that there is something we are missing that once fulfilled will enhance our lives. We all struggle with thoughts of unfulfillment and discontentment throughout the different stages of life. As a young woman, I dealt with insecurities about myself, my looks, and being accepted for who I was and not just my body. I was searching for love in all the wrong places and found myself saying, “If I had better clothing or knew how to do my hair better, I would look better and people would accept me more!” As a single woman, I dealt with concerns about being enough saying things like “ If I was a better woman than my boyfriend would not have cheated on me!” As a married woman, learning how to navigate marriage I often found myself saying things like “If we could just go to counseling, then the marriage will get better!” “If my husband would just begin to be more affectionate, the relationship would be better!” or “If we had better jobs that paid more money, things would be better and my/our life would be better!” We are always looking for that perfect something that will ‘complete the puzzle’ of all that we think is missing in our lives, finally making us “whole.”
What we have not fully comprehended is that the only way to satisfy our desires and fill our life’s void of all that is ‘missing’ in order to make our lives ‘better’, is a stronger, closer and more intimate relationship with God.
As we cultivate our relationship with God, He will straighten out and fix everything else in our lives… He makes it better! In most instances, He doesn’t change the circumstance but He changes our mindset, our perception, and our perspective about the circumstance. Without God, there is no real life, there will always be an emptiness, always be something missing, always be something else that is needed.
Over the course of many years before learning this valuable lesson, I was always looking for more. More love, more confidence, more money, more clothes, a car, a home, a fix in my relationships; with parents, with boyfriend(s), with husband, with children, whatever I felt was missing. I believed that if one area or another in my life was “fixed” it would fix everything else. I used to have a lot of if/then clauses when I looked at my life; I would say, if my husband would be more affectionate, spend more time with me, and talk to me more then our relationship would be better and we would have a better marriage. Or I would be happier if my husband and I had better jobs because we would have the money we needed and/or I could stay home to take care of our daughter. Eventually, at varying points of time in my life, I received all of the things I thought I wanted or needed…My husband became more affectionate, we spent more time together, he got a better job, I got a better job, an opportunity arose and I was able to be a stay-at-home mom, my husband even became more communicative, telling me about his day, things I asked he would answer in detail which is what we as women like…details, details, details!
God heard all of my prayers and they were answered one by one… but I still wanted something more. It was never enough! My expectations, ideals and what I thought I wanted or needed from my relationships were too high for any human being, any job, or any material thing to fill. I began to ask, “Lord what is the problem, why isn’t this working like I thought it would?” The answer soon came, but it wasn’t something I expected or even think I was ready to hear.
So I have some questions for you to ponder…
- Read Matthew 6:33, Philippians 4:11 and Hebrews 13:5. Both scriptures allude to contentment with what you have and the state that you are in; how does this concept connect to Seeking God First?
- Psalm 63:5-9 reminds us that our souls will be satisfied when we remember and meditate on what the Lord has done in our lives. It reminds us that God is our help and as we follow hard after Him, He will uphold us. Take some time to meditate on God’s goodness in your life. Make a list! How can this practice help you Seek God First to the point where voids are being filled in your life?
- Evaluate where your treasures lie, what is important to you and what are your priorities. Make a list of all of the if/then clauses you have stated about your life. Now Read 1 Kings 17: 1 – 16. The Lord sustained two people in this passage of scripture in different ways, Elijah and the Widow. In what ways did their actions exemplify that they were Seeking God First? How can you take their example and apply it to your own life?